(Nothing is safe... Frankie works out how to get to the sewing machine)
That's a ridiculous title for a blog post, of course. I haven't worked out a way to stretch or exist outside the regular parameters of time. However, despite being a SAHM to two young children and a part time sewing teacher, at the moment I'm managing to find a surprising amount of time to sew. I talked about the 'why' in my
Ease Into Motherhood post last July, and today I want to write a little bit about 'how'.
A big mistake...
When Dolores (who is now four) was a tiny baby, I went through a horrible, but thankfully brief, period of thinking that I should spend any time that she was asleep doing things that were related to her care. Once I'd got her down for a nap, I'd take care of my own basic needs and then I'd get started on the laundry, washing up, etc. until she woke up. I guess I felt that that was what a Good Mum was meant to do. I planned to have my 'me time' (to sew, read blogs and write my own) in the evening once she was down for the night. But in reality, I was always too tired and would end up watching TV feeling frustrated. Let me tell you that this formula is the road to depression and resentment. It took me a while, but I finally learnt that being a martyr to your child is not being a Good Mum; it doesn't best serve yourself or your family.
Finding my sewing groove
I was lucky that as an older baby and little toddler, Dolores use to have sizeable and consistent naps, so I was able to get quite a bit of sewing done during those couple of years. When she dropped napping altogether, sewing had to be relegated back to an evening-only activity. But it was such a deliciously solitary thing to do after each full-on day of toddler-wrangling, that my depth of desire to sew, if only for half an hour each evening, helped me overcome the tiredness that might have stopped me doing any at all.
Second time around
When I was pregnant with Frankie, I had a word with myself to make sure I wouldn't fall into the martyr-mum role again. I knew that caring for a newborn and a 3yo at the same time was going to be a whole new level of challenging, and that carving out tiny pockets of time to sew was going to be essential if I was going to get through it without my mental health laying in tatters by the time we reached Frankie's first birthday. To avoid the aforementioned frustration and resentment, I kept my aims really low. Like, 10 minutes a day low, for the first few months. And soon I found that I could complete one step of a project (like sticking a PDF together, or inserting the sleeves) per day. Time spent sitting underneath a feeding or snoozing baby, particularly when the big one was at nursery, gave me lots of time to think about each step, so when I did get the micro-opportunity to escape to my sewing corner, I could get stuck in straight away and be pretty productive.
(And the next day I turn my back for a minute and he's now actually ON the sewing table.
Playing with pins)
Napportunities
The problem was, as he left the newborn stage, Frankie failed to fall into the lovely and reliable nap routine that Dolores had. His naps have been inconsistent and often quite short. So what to do? I found that if I spent however long his nap would be
only sewing, then I'd find I had a massive amount of chores to do after he woke up with him all cranky because I wasn't giving him the attention he craved. But if I spent his scant naps
only washing up and tidying, then enter our old friends frustration and resentment.
So I've found what works best for me is to flit between roles and tasks. For example: Frankie goes down for a nap, then I put the laundry on, then I do a bit of sewing, then I start the washing up, then I do a bit of sewing, then I finish the washing up, then I do a bit of sewing, then I tidy up a bit, then I do a bit of sewing, and so on until he wakes up. That might sound insane and exhausting, but it's genuinely the only way I've found I can make the most of however long he's going to stay asleep.
Plus, on the rare occasions that they are both happily engaged in something that doesn't involve me, you might catch me rethreading my overlocker or pinning the side seams...
CBeebies saved my life
Confession time: if Dolores isn't in nursery, I let her watch TV whilst Frankie takes his nap. Whatever your thoughts are on TV, I prefer her to not watch too much. But I've overcome my guilt of allowing her to see 1-2 hours a day because she's full-on, active and engaged the whole rest of the day.
Low expectations
Of course, this is only working for me because I have long since let go of being used to the great swathes of sewing time that I used to have before kids. I feel that the newborn phase of parenthood, where somedays getting to wash your hair can be an unobtainable luxury, does the job of making you feel grateful for the odd 10 minutes sewing time when you can grab it. And when 10 minutes of sewing expands in to an hour or two, that can feel like days!
But it is definitely worth reminding myself/ourselves that this early, super-dependant stage of childhood is very short lived. Can you believe I've just filled in Dolores's schools application?! Longer spells of sewing time will be with me again, I just hope I'll stay this productive!
What about you? Have you found any seemingly-bizarre ways to fit sewing in around a busy life (with or without kids)? Are you one of urban legends, for example, that set your alarm early to get some sewing done before work or the rest of your family wakes up?! Any tips you can share on what works for you?